Curisity killed the.......Lapband Patient lol

Just realised I haven' t updated since my last entry, so I probably should do that.

9.30pm the same night of my last post, I ended up calling my doctor after hours to meet her at the hospital so she could take out half of the last fill she put in.. So instead of having 1ml extra, I have 0.5ml extra.

(tmi) Basically my saliva wasn't even going down, let alone water or food. I ended in horrendous pain, bringing up the saliva I've swalled every 20mins or so because it was completely shut.. the pressure was unbearable.

had 0.5ml taken out - Instant relief! The next day was even better.

I have been wondering if she took out more, but she did show me the syringe... and well, I guess I was more focused on the pain I was having rather than looking.. but that's only because I've felt like I am looser than I was before my second fill.

That being said.. the last two or so days, I've kind of tuned in and realised that I'm feeling a different feeling. Not getting food stuck more, but just all food I eat is going down soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo slowly. 

It's great, don't get me wrong.. but it's just so hard to adjust to.

Aaron took me out for dinner last night. First restaurant meal since my first fills - I barely ate any of it. I felt horrible, because he splashed bought me a lobster! First time I've tried it... and not only did I not particularly like it (just not my thing) I barely ate any of it, and it was so darn expensive! Lucky it wasn't massive, although I did ask beforehand whether something could be taken home).  He finished half of it off for me, and the rest just stayed there after I was done (so I had half a tail?)  ......thenihadicecreambutthatsnaughtyandishouldntreallytellyoubutididpleasedonttsktskmeeeeeeeee. :D

When I mean I'm hardly eating anything.. I mean hardly ANYTHING! No way near a cup, like they say you should have (max).. I'm talking like... 1/4 of a cup, sometimes if I'm REALLY lucky, maybe 1/3 of a cup. Depends what type of food it is as well. Pasta type foods I can eat a bit more of, then again it depends if I'm doing something at the same time (like lunch break at work I read websites etc). The more distracted I get, the more I eat, because I settle and then go back, settle and then go back.. whereas if I concentrate on my food.. once I get THAT feeling, I usually pick a little and then stop.

Rambling, sorry!

I haven't had the guts to get on the scales yet. 1 week since the fill/weigh in.. I'm thinking maybe I should wait until I see my surgeon next in 1 month until I weigh in again.. but I don't know if I can hold off that long. I'm pessimistic as all hell, but I'm just so curious!

D:

extremely disappointed

Turns out it was all a lie... in fact, not only have I not lost weight. I've put on 1kg since I had my first fill... WTF?  This is absolute bs... I'm so upset :(

I just got another 1ml in my band... I can barely swallow water.. I'm hoping the swelling or whatever will calm down in the next few days and I'll be able to get down a normal size meal.  I had a couple of bites of some salad at lunch and a piece of meat got stuck :( now I'm paying for it...

Anyway... w/e... *shrug*

Sigh

It's a constant effing battle... Even just the emotional side of this whole thing is enough to wear a person out.

My weigh in showed no change last week... after my scales at home blatantly lied to me and gave me a different reading every time I stepped on (6kg difference from one to another!), I confirmed it when I went to the chemist to weigh in at a Tony Ferguson location. I was exactly the same as the week before. Not only was this disappointing, but it makes me feel that perhaps my last few weigh ins weren't correct, and perhaps I haven't lost as much as I think I have.... :(

I am d.y.i.n.g to have another fill. As crazy as that sounds for those out there that know the feeling you get when you stuff up.... I just...don't feel like I'm in the right place... and my weigh in proves that.

I'm going to be insanely tight I think... but I hope I can at least get maybe 1 or 2mls in the band and after a couple of days it should settle and I should be able to eat the way I was eating after my last fill when I thought I was at my perfect spot. I /thought/ I lost 5kg in my first week... but perhaps that was all a lie and I was kidding myself.... or at least my scales were kidding me.

I just feel so miserable, I just wish I could have the correct numbers AT HOME, without having someone breath down my neck and asking me how my week went and if I drank enough water and drill me about my food choices etc. 

Blah.

cross fingers

Not feeling flash today...


In the back of my mind I have this worry that maybe I haven't lost anything this week.


I feel as if... just like anything else I've ever tried, I'll lose a bit, then stop losing... and probably put back on again.


I'm due for a doctors appointment on the 18th and I will get a top up fill and hope that it makes me feel a bit better.  I'm not as tight as I was 3 weeks ago, so I know I can still go a little more... so hopefully that will sort me out.


Weigh in tomorrow morning, so we'll see then whether I've lost anything. Cross fingers it's something decent ._.

*does a dance*

I've lost 20kg so far!!! :)