:)

900gm loss this week. Happy with that :)

:( tmi AGAIN

Oh man....

The last couple of hours I've been bundling brochures and grouping them for a mail out.  I got back inside and was hungry and my friend at work had left me half a jam donut (as much as I didn't want it at the time, it was staring me in the face when I got back inside, and being so hungry, well, we all make mistakes)

I took my time knowing that things like pastries/cakes/donuts etc are very hard for a bander to get down.

Boy did I underestimate THAT piece of information.

I have pb'd plenty, but usually it's quiet and fairly tame and pleasant compared to an actual vomit (of which I haven't technically had for years)... But I think this could have been in the vomit category, except PB style (and by that I mean, no stomach acid because it didn't reach my stomach)

The first couple of ....heaves? lol  were ok. Normal....then the pit of my stomach cramped up like "Oh! So you're wanting to vomit, let me help you a little! I'll push, you heave!"

I then felt as if the bottom half of my stomach was going to go through my band inside-out and come through my mouth... If you could put that in the same category, then it's definitely a different experience to what vomiting was like before banding.

I.Never.Want.To.Do.That.Again

I can handle PB'ing. It's just a normal part of banding. There are always days you mess up or days you are tighter than usual. But this was hell. And caused by my stupid judgement of food choice!  I wish this person would stop "sharing" and giving me crap food!!!!!!!!!

:(

Weigh in tonight, probably update later or tomorrow....

Lap Band, Oh Lap Band...

Why do you hate me one day and love me the next?

Yesterday was hell for me, you little shit! I couldn't eat a thing and I could barely manage liquids...

Today I've downed a smoothie, some pasta salad with mash and chicken (left overs from last night that I couldnt eat) and some delicious cheesecake that my friend got for me... (only a little though, very rich!)

Did I do something to offend you? Did I hurt your feelings and now you forgive me? Whyyyy are you such an ass! lol

Oh well, thanks for making me feel good today. Glad I wasn't at work yesterday.

No Love, (well maybe a little bit.... )
Caz.

(ok ok, lots of love... but don't get cocky!)

Can't eat my favourite thing :(

I discovered an awesome meal a few weeks ago; Salsa's Chicken & Vegetable Rice Bowl. I've only had it once before and it lasted me 3 meals. At the time I was eating fairly normally, so the fact it lasted so long was a surprise - albeit a good one.

I got it today, because I was hell craving it. It's just fully awesomeness...! I had a couple of bites and it got stuck.  Off to the loo for a spew I go... It's now sitting in the fridge waiting to go home... For another attempt... and another... and another... and another... I won't be able to resist it and there is no way in hell I could watch Aaron eat it without a tear.  I think it's either the rice or the skin on the tomato.... or it could be the broccoli... or the onion.... meh. It's probably the whole fricken damn thing :(  This sucks.

I think my last fill I was considering getting some taken out, wasn't I? I should read back and see how long it took to settle down. Man, I have some hard weeks coming up. If I can't even eat vegetables, how the hell am I supposed to eat anything else? I can eat junk food just fine. chocolate melts... ice cream melts.... chips are hard and seperate nicely..... meh.  I don't want to eat crackers or crispbread for weeks.

There is such ups... and such downs... Looks like I won't be eating out with friends at work for a while either.  Not that it's too often I suppose.

End rant??

Not quite yet.

I'm feeling an awful lot of nausea this time. Haven't had that before. I'm still feeling like I have that odd pouchy thing happening where food/drink gets puddled there.... and then I just feel yucky. Not sure what it is, but I don't like it.... and this feeling of puddling is horrible.  Maybe I did do something to my band :(

hhhhhhoooolllllyyyyyycccrraaaappppppppp

=O

=O

=O

=O

=O

=O

=O

they are omg faces by the way.... =O

2.9 lost this WEEK! what the helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll........... I started off so bad... yes, I did have three days of major low points days because of my fill, but I did NOT expect THAT!

And guess whaaaaaaaaat?????

Not only did I have an awesome loss of 2.9kg

....I made it into the teens.... completely skipped 19 and 18, 117 baby yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

ANDDDDD I crossed my half way point.....OOOOOMMMMMMGGGGGGGG.......

so so so so so so so so so so so so happpyyyyyyyyyyexcitedddddcrazyyyyyyywooohooooo

over analyzing

Here I was thinking I had done something to my band yesterday...

It felt a bit funny after I had a couple of crackers...

The rest of the afternoon I felt like I had a odd pouch bit that was puddling liquid and not going down... if that makes sense...

This morning while drinking water, I didn't notice a lot of gurgling... I had a coffee as well and didn't notice any gurgling (after two days of MEGA gurgling I was a tad worried)

For a brief time I thought perhaps I had slipped.. or done damage or SOMETHING.....

Until I had 4 little bites of lasagne and its just sitting there... not stuck... not uncomfortable... just sitting there... playing games with me.... telling me I am full... like a good little band-pouch should...  What a tease! Last week I could have scoffed this lasagne... That's how loose I was.... but now.... my beautiful friend Lacky... (hehehe, get it? Lacky band!)  is here to support me and allow me to eat small and feel big!

I love you, Lacky.
:)

I weight in at WW tonight. With 4 days WAY over, and 3 days way under.. I wonder how I will do.  Is it going to make me stall going from such heights to such depths? Or will it even out alright?

I'm hoping for the latter...

Kind of excited to see :)

PS: hiiiccccuuupppppppppppp

.....hhhhhhiccup....hhhic.....cup....

Erggghhhhhh.... Struggling BIG TIME.

I just had two small spoons of porridge and I'm hiccuping like mad.... I'm really struggling to get this down. I wonder what else I could try that would be easier, coz I'm a bit hungry...  so glad I'm not starving mad like last week, but still hungry because I just can't eat!

I'll leave it for about a week and see how I go.  I can get down very small amounts of food, but I am just getting sick of the wait between mouthfuls.  No stuckage yet, but I'm waiting for it to happen any day now....

Struggling

I've had the worst migraine over the last couple of days.

It started off as only a dull headache, but I worked myself up so much the other night, it turned rather quickly...

I had an appointment for a fill on Monday arvo at 4. I got to St John of God Hosputal right on time, found a park and headed up to the specialist rooms only to be told that they've moved somewhere else. I was a bit pissy that I didnt get told so on my way down to my car I called Aaron. I paid for my ticket, went and got in my car and finished on my phone. I then started up my sat nav, went to get my ticket ready for exit and realised I had no idea where it had gone. Panic mode set in and i started to stress out. I went back upstairs and explained what happened and the lady there called security for me. Finally i had another ticket to get out so i started heading to the new place... Then i got lost :(
Eventually found where i had to go, grabbed a park and then the damn ticket machine was broken! I started looking for another, but ended up chucking a tantrum and just went inside.

My dietician said i have a Vitamin D & B12 deficiency plus my cholesterol has gone up a bit. Afterwards i had an appointment with a different doctor for a fill. Only 0.5ml went in but hell, it's fricken tight... I can barely even get runny porridge down!

Hoping it will sort itself out over the next few days, because I definitely can't stay this tight I don't think... at least i'm not eating my shirt anymore i guess lol

Not deserving...a little tmi again sorry

I lost 1kg this week, however I definitely didn't deserve it... Last week I deserved it, and I put on 700g... but that being said, I was a bit consto...

I think I lost the consto weight, plus 300gm... I've just had a shitty feeling week overall, so I guess bad choices usually come with feeling bad.

Back on track though.

I always feel a lot more hungry in the mornings than the afternoons; So to try and combat that this morning, I had toast at 8am and around 10.30am I had my porridge. Normally I would have one or the other and then a snack for mid morning... but I thought to myself.. It's probably better using the snack points on having both of those rather than one.... keeps me fuller for longer and its better for me than what I would normally snack on.

It got me through until lunch time and then I had 1/4 of a Salsa's chicken and veg bowl (which is absolute heaven at 3pts for 1/4 bowl which was plenty enough... and even if you wanted half, 6pts is reasonable for lunch!)

In other news (:P) I have two weeks left in my WW tracker journal and I was told last night that they aren't making anymore 2010 journals.... what the? It's only August and they have already decided that they aren't going to do another print run... There is still over 4 fricken months! I can't even find one online... so peeved off... I need my tracker journal or I'll definitely screw up.

I don't know how well it will go, but I tried scanning in some blank pages and making my own version... I binded it with the binder at work... and although its a pretty crappy rip off, it might do the trick. I'll see how I go. Just irritated that it's not an original you know?  As stupid as that sounds, I'm a little anal when it comes to things like that... I sometimes feel as if I have some sick and twisted form of OCD. Like, if I don't have an authentic journal then I will fail and put all my weight back on.. Obsessive much??

Had a shocker of a headache for the last few days... can't seem to budge it. That along with girly cramps = death. Wish I wasn't at work today... I took Tuesday off, feel heaps better... but I don't want to be here today either lol.

Anyway, enough for now. Hope everyone out there in band land is going well. Hugs!

This gain is really getting me down.. I think because it's so close to the last one I had... I think I only lost twice and then gained?? I dunno... I definitely think I need a fill because I am STARVING most of the time now.

I really should change some more of my foods, I think... *shrug*

It's definitely not easy to keep up this momentum, especially when everyone else around you eats and drinks shit all the time. I just can't seem to get away from it.

tmi.... sorry

Do NOT read if you don't wanna hear about consto.. lol

Definitely starting to struggle again... I just asked to go to the chemist at 10am on a friday morning because I'm scared that I'll get the consto pains like last time... they gave me grief for days...

I also got a softner, so I hope that it won't hurt my insides :( I'd like to get through this with minimal pain if possible..

I suppose that could be a reason why I didn't lose this week... afterall last time was Wednesday... so yesterday I had a couple of days in there.... :\

:(

700 on this week.... I hope I don't start this up and down crap..... can't stand it.

I did drink all my water before my meeting though and I think I'm a bit consto....and I'm due... tmi

sooo... next week will tell I suppose....