Not only did I lose a whopping 2kg last week.

I reached 30kg loss AND broke into the 20's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited!

What a happy week for me :)

do not want

Ergh... so tight. Struggling :(

Ergh

I had my fill, now it's time to get used to being so tight again. I like it, however it's also frustrating when you're STARVING and just want to eat!  The good thing about it is that you eat little and you are over it in no time. Sweet!

The doctor that saw me was very impressed with how much I've lost since October. He seemed crazy impressed actually and I don't know whether he was just putting it on to make me feel good.  Feeling good went out the window when he used the needle to search for my port and then slipped over the edge and the needle got pushed down in me with brute force.. second time lucky (lucky for him, that is, I was ready to punch him...lol)

The dietitian said I need to eat more fruit.  Yes, it's barely non existent at the moment and apples make me hungry so I stay away from those.  Might have to get some bananas or something. I love mango's...om nom nom but I'm scared that some will slip past my tongue and will cause me grief.

I couldn't be arsed cooking last night (I was only going to make mash for myself and something else for my bf) but we went and bought chinese instead.  I had about a spoon full of rice over an hour.  Pretty disasterous considering I was so hungry.

I had porridge for breakfast this morning as it's nice and soft...struggled a little with my tablet this morning, but it went down ok after about 5 minutes aaaaaaaaand dinner time tonight I should be back to normal food, but I'll take it easy for a while as I'm pretty sure I'll struggle with red meat for a while.

First 24 hours is careful for me after a fill because I swell pretty bad, I've noticed.

I'm actually enjoying the tight feeling again. I've had two pieces of ravioli so far for lunch and I'm getting the slow-going-down feeling that I enjoy. The way I was before this fill, although I could still only eat about a cup, I could definitely eat faster and finish my meal pretty quickly. I'd always pace myself, just by telling myself to do so.. but obviously not as fast as you HAVE to do when you're feeling quite tight.

Anyway, I forgot to mention that I lost 900g last week.  Weight in again in two nights time. I'm not too good with updating this thing on time at the moment, because we just moved house. But at least I haven't stopped altogether :)

Decisions decisions

I am currently in for a checkup every 6-8 weeks with my doctor. I have an appointment with the Surgeon and my Dietitian this afternoon.

I have been sitting here thinking for the last 4 hours whether I should or shouldn't get a fill.

My reasons why I shouldn't.
I am currently at an average of 900gms to 1kg loss each week.
I am still PB'ing some things when I eat too fast
I can basically eat anything where I am at right now as long as I take my time and chew properly.
Owie pains lol

My reasons why I should.
I can basically eat anything where I am at right now. Meaning, I AM eating basically anything.
I am starting to eat faster because things are going down easier.
I started a new medication a week and a half ago and I am constantly hungry.
My portion sizes are getting slightly higher because food isn't in my pouch as long.
Although I've lost an average of 900g - 1kg each week, the first few weeks were higher and the last few weeks have been lower.
It will be about 8 weeks until I get the chance to go for a fill again.

It's a 60/40 and I suppose the whole reason I got the band was to have the restriction. Sooooo after writing those few points down, I think I will get one and hope that I dont die in the process. My last fill was a disaster with 0.5 and I ended up having to go back in after hours to get it taken back out again.  I'm hoping that 0.5 this time won't end up in me being so tight I can't swallow my own saliva.

That was a horrendous experience.

Thoughts and Ramblings

Okay... so... my doctor has put me back on anti depressants. (don't ask).

One of the side effects I've read is that it promotes weight gain.

I started the tablets yesterday, but I am so so so worried that this will make things so very difficult for me now :(

I need the tablets for, if anything, anxiety. I don't know whether you would so much call it depression, but I definitely have a problem with anxiety.  I have been so super emotional for ages now and I always feel as if I am holding my feelings in my chest. The drop of a pin would make me cry, or get angry, irritated, murder spree material.

It doesn't help that there are certain people at work who I would like to stab with a fork to the eye. Seriously. Rude, selfish girls on a power trip that they don't have the authority to have. Think "their shit don't stink". It seriously just infuriates me.  And what have I done to them to deserve their attitudes and horribleness?? Nothing! I can not think of one thing I have done to either of them for them to warrant treating me like a piece of crap.  I just don't understand people.

Anyway. I lost 600g last week. I suppose that's a plus, innit?

Turning Point

I've crossed the turning point, but I don't know when.

I just turned down a free strawberry thickshake from McDonalds.

That was one of my favourite things! Every time I got Maccas, I would substitute the soft drink for a strawberry thickshake.

I didn't even hesitate turning it down either. Straight out "no thank you :)"

I am a legend, lol.

In other news, last week I lost 1.5kg. Happy! :)