Honesty

I had an appointment with my Surgeon yesterday. This ended in bad news which later turned out to not be so bad.

Basically my surgery has been delayed for 2 weeks extra. I've gone up in weight to 159.7 so they can't go ahead with it until I do a few weeks of a shake diet so my liver is smaller. I know that's not a massive deal, but it was a big enough deal for me to have a bit of a cry. I've been living it up a bit...so I know why I've put in a bit of weight... "Last Supper" so to speak.. but I didn't expect the delay. Bummer..

I was told the wrong information in regards to a pre-op diet. I was told that I needed to go on a shake diet for a week before my surgery. Turns out it has to be about 2 - 3 weeks! So they couldnt keep me booked in for the 5th have have now rescheduled to the 19th.

I started my pre-op shake fest today and I tell you now I'm HATING it. It's 1pm, people have been heating up their lunches, and OMG it smells so so good and all I have is a stinking shake!

It's going to be so hard, but it's only 3 weeks, then I get the band and it will be easier from there.

On a positive note - I've almost gone through 1.5 litres of water and its only early afternoon. Only another 500 or so mils to go :)

*tummy grumbles*

Last weekend was a long weekend and we went down to see Aaron's Dad in Albany.. we had dinner out a few times and partied it up a bit because of the AFL grand final. Wouldn't have been able to do that if I was on a pre-op diet, now would I?

So that's my positive out of the negative.

I need to do more of this kind of thinking in the future... Get a positive out of a negative and it won't seem so bad!

3381kj intake for today. (805 Calories.)

Nervous..

I'm starting to feel very nervous about the surgery now. It's two weeks away and being the negative thinker I am, I'm worrying about whether it will work for me or not. It has a very high success rate, but there are people that have failed because they don't follow the rules and stretch their pouch or just eat crap. I know that I won't ruin this for myself in THAT way, but I guess the thing that worries me the most is if I get a blockage and vomit and move the band and then its worthless :( (TMI sorry lol)

Emotionally and mentally I think I might struggle a bit. Learning a new way of thinking after being so negative all my life is going to be extremely difficult. I have very low self worth, confidence and esteem. My friend Karl has suggested that I have some hypnotherapy... to target some problem areas and perhaps get that controlled. I've always been a bit partial to believing that sort of thing works, but I guess it's worth a try, so I may look into that a little later down the track.

Dietitian appointment went well. Got my information about how to eat after the surgery. 6 weeks basically on fluids/mush... I'm going to go bonkers! I should hopefully lose a decent amount of weight in that time though. :)

Ugh

Three weeks before surgery.

Eep

2 weeks to go.... eep.

Dietitian appointment this afternoon. Surgeons appointment next Tuesday. Surgery following Monday.

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Pre-Op Stuff

I had my physician appointment yesterday morning - went well. Nothing wrong with me except I'm a fatty and my liver enzymes are up a bit (whatever that means)- apparently it's 'common' for overweight people though, so she wasn't too worried... blood pressure, thyroid, cholesterol etc is all normal... as were the other blood tests I had done.

I have my psychologist appointment today at 4. I suppose this is going to be the brain side of it all - can expect a few tears probably... pretty sensitive when it comes to my weight. Suck it up princess :)

I just CANNOT believe how quickly this is going.... It's phenomenal. I first enquired mid August. It's now mid September and I have my surgery in UNDER 3 weeks. So all up, the whole process for me pre-op will have been just over 2 months... It still hasn't quite sunk in yet. It's taken so much longer for others I have spoken to, but I am thrilled to pieces and can't wait to go in :)

All this being said, I am paying for it at full cost (between 17 and 18 thousand dollars - on finance at $140 a week repayments). I have health cover, but I don't want to wait until mid next year for my surgery. I know that's probably a stupid idea, but at the end of the day, I have waited all my life for this and 8 months is a long time.... I can lose a decent amount of weight in that time... that is what is important to me.

My Mum will shoot me in the knees when she finds out about how much it costs. But out of everyone, she wants this for me the most, and she has wanted this for me since my doctor first told me about it years and years ago - I have struggled with my weight my whole life - I cant remember a time in my life when I was a healthy weight range. I was always fed proper meals with good nutrition while growing up; but for some reason, I just kept ballooning. Anyways... we just never had the money to go through with it. At the end of the day I know I have her full support and that's all that matters.

My boyfriend is extremely supportive, and I love him for this but I am a bit worried how my moods will fluctuate after the surgery - i have read a lot of things from people who have had WLS about their hormones being all fucked up for a while afterward....great.... I thought I was a bitch when PMS'ing... I hope he can deal with it and stick by me. But he's pretty easy going so I'm sure he will be fine... he has put up with me so far... and it hasn't been an easy road...

My employer is also extremely supportive... I've only been at APC for about 2 months and they have no problem with me taking time off for my appointments. I really appreciate their support and appreciate them not being nosey about it and wanting to know all the details. I know there are a lot of employers out there who are extremely retarded when it comes to people taking time off... regardless of the reasons.. and always want to know the ins and outs of everything.

Anywhoo :) I'll leave it at that for now. :)

It's started!

I have been enquiring about a lap-band over the last few weeks. I have had one surgeons appointment already and I applied for medical finance through Circle of Care as the bank wouldn't lend me the extra 10k on top of my car loan. Turns out I am just under 160kgs :(

Sigh.. Anyway, today my finance got approved.

it's like... $15,600 :\ So its a lot of money... pay back $140 a week.... Not bad I suppose :\ Thats big news. Means I'm going ahead with it now. It still needs to sink in.